It hurts....

It hurts that you think I am over you as quick as you were over me. I am no where near close, I'm still healing. A week is not long enough so of course I have no intention of talking to you. I am going to man up though and show you how strong I am, that I don't need you standing there next to me giving me the confidence that I clearly lack.
Even though I still feel sad and heart broken I will move on. I won't ponder on this feeling.
I want to go back to what we had, I just wish you gave me the time to heal instead of thinking we both have to same feelings. As much as I miss you and just want to be in your arms again I know I can't so I might as well move on from this feeling.
Ohh well life goes on and there is no point thinking this can change because you obviously never want me more then a friend, if you even want me as a friend.

Living God....

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I worship an amazing God. He is not against us as humans He is FOR US! How amazing, we don't desevere his love as humans but he still sent His ONE and ONLY son down on this earth to die for our sins. Jesus did something no one else can do and He rose again 3 days later, how AMAZING and all for US! That just boggles my mind sometimes. When God brought His son down on this earth that was him making a promise to be human for eternity. I love God so much for his sacrifce and want to live my life all for his glory, I don't care what people think, God is the only one who has the right to judge me, even though as humans it is our nature.

I was at youth the other night and was asked to read Jeremiah 29:11 and as I was reading it it was like God was smashing saucepans against my head. At the time I was not in a good place, things for the last few weeks had been hectic and that night was not making things better but once God did that my attitude changed a bit. The next morning I woke up and opened my bible and it opened to that verse. Then my leader came around and I told her about it. Sunday night church that verse was one of the verses said. God works in amazing ways when we really need him there reminding us things that we need to know.

I know my life is heading somewhere amazing, no matter what I am going through now God has it all in his hands. God doesn't want to harm me or you and He won't. He showed us how much He loves us by sending His son down to earth to die for us. There is no greater sacrifice. God has the most amazing plan for both you and I but it is our choice whether we choose to live our life glorfying Him or not.

My choice is to live my life for the big man upstairs, what is yours?

"And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us then what can stand against?" <--- Our God by Chris Tomlin

Tic Tac's....

So I just went and bought a box of tic tac's. They make me feel so happy with there orange taste that fills my mouth. I then started thinking about all the good times I have had with many boxes of tic tac's - only the orange flavor though. Most of the times were with my bestie :) I have no idea how many boxes we have eaten in our time but I can tell you that is definately over 20 :P Hmm most of you will be thinking that we are addicted... I don't think it is an addiction I think it is more of a love for them.
They are like my security blanket. I run to them when I need to get away, when I just want to foget about everything going on in my life.
Orange tic tac's are the way of life!
I love how tic tac's make me feel great and make me smile in the hardest times!

This girl....

So there is this girl and we have the most amazing friendship ever, well it is more like she is my sister. We have just started this amazing friendship but I couldn't imagine life without her, even the thought of it just scares me to death :\

She is my world. She has bought me out of my comfort zone, making me want to explore the big wide world. She is so supportive of everything I do.

I am here for her 100% no matter what or when!

We are fair crazy... some people can't stand us being in the same car ;D We will be up til 4 in the morning watching movies and quoting "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" + many more! We can laugh over 1 thing for like half and hour and it will be the stupidest thing!

Everytime I am with her we create a new memory, everyone is implanted in my brain and it will never go away.

She makes my ribs hurt from laughing so hard. She is the funniest girl you will ever meet. She is the sweetest girl in the world, she has such a beautiful heart.
We have our injoke, don't take offence that you are not included just the way it is! Strawberry kisses has to be our all time favourite song plus our little obsession with Nikki Webster :P
Our little secrect times that we have ;) haha! SO GOOD SO GOOD! Our secrect stash, fondue and cupcakes no one bakes them better than us :)

Basically this girl is my support, my rock and my bestie. She will NEVER EVER BE REPLACED! She made the hole in my heart close over.

Damn girl you are fine! "I don't have my library card so can I check you out"

I love you missy with all that I am and everything in me. Ti amerò per sempre♥

This kid....

So there is this kid, I met him at a camp. He pretty much changed everything for me in those 3 days. I fell for him quite quickly. Unfortuantly this is the end of us as 1.

I feel like I was lied to, one week he loves me the next he is breaking up with me. That is what happened and there is nothing I can do about it as much as I want to. Out of no where he is feeling something different to I am. I guess that is life, some people are just not going to feel the same way, even in a short amount of time things change.
Even though it is over, those 6+ months I will never forget. We had so much fun and so many laughs, too many to count. Even through this heartache I just remember those times and smile knowing that he was apart of me.
As much as I am hurting and wondering what went wrong I know that everything will be ok, that I will be come out strong. Everyone says "there are more fish in the sea", I only wanted that fish but God knows who he wants me to be with. Through this heartache God will bring something amazing, not just to me but to him too.
I know in the end we will be friends again... I just need time, time to get over him, time to heal, I am so glad he is giving me that time cause our friendship before we became a couple was amazing.

Even though I never saw it coming that is ok, I am glad he is happy.